"We" Now Means the Boys and I

         Well, it has been a rough road for the past 18 plus months and this blog will now be just a blog about me and my boys as we try to move forward and honor God. In order to save hurt feelings, there will not be a lot of details given, but things have changed a lot in my life as well as that of the boys. I think maybe the boy's lives have changed more than mine, so please pray without ceasing for them. Through all the heartache and pain I have been through over these past months, I have learned one thing, God is faithful. I'm thankful that God is not "fair" because then I would have surely been put through the wringer and maybe even not survived. When I made the choice 19 months ago to run to the arms of God, something that I should have already been doing but was not, it was only by his grace that he welcomed me back with open, loving arms. I've experienced his forgiveness and grace and I continue to be reminded by friends, sermons and worship that GOD IS ENOUGH.

        As I seek to move forward with my life, I have no idea what my future holds. I continue to pray for a miracle, but I am leaving that in God's hands. What I do know is that I have a few years left to make a positive influence on the life of my boys and I do not want to waste that. My failures serve as reminders of things I want to help the boys avoid in their own lives and my victories serve as the fuel to keep me pressing forward, seeking God and trusting in his word and promises. I can honestly say that God has taken my grief and turned it into growth, He has taken my sorrow and turned it into sunshine and He has taken my loss and replaced it with laughter.

       One thing that has changed recently is that God has placed in me a desire to write. I will use different outlets, including this blog, to put into words some of the things that God lays on my heart. I am not changing the name of my blog because as I see it I am still far from Normal and my little family of boys is far from Normal, so I think it fits. As I'm writing this, my boys are all tucked in their beds and sound asleep and THAT fills this daddy's heart. As God heals my heart he has returned a desire to my soul to write. Just a few weeks ago, he helped me pen a poem and it is only because of Him that the words could flow at a time like this.

      And that folks, just about sums it up!

Don Widener

Trials of being fat

So, this past weekend I decided that it would be a splendid idea to try to prepare to run a 5k.  I will be honest, the only reason I want to do this 5k is so that I can run through Lambeau Field, the Holy Grail of football!  The Packers 5k may be the only one that I do because, well, I'm fat and running just doesn't agree with me.

Let me explain.  I read a blog that said beginning runners (that would be me) should start out running 1 mile three times a week, so I tried running a mile on Monday.  I could hear my shoes screaming and screeching in anguish, the pavement was making low pitched moans and my body was crying "What are you doing to me?"I was only able to run about half of it, but I made it without dying!  That in itself is an accomplishment.  I did go ahead and ride my bike a little bit after the run and then I wen't on a family bike ride on Tuesday.  So, today after school, I tried day 2.  What a disaster that was.  Not only do I get rejected by family and friends because I'm fat, my own body is rejecting me.  My shins felt like they were going to pop off my legs and made it very difficult to run and even if I tried to push through that my quads started tightening up and making it even more painful, so I walked most of it today.  What was I ever thinking when I started this?  That 5k distance seems lightyears away.  I will take my meds to relieve the pain and try again tomorrow.

I want to do this!  I want to run around the hallowed field in Lambeau!  Maybe someone who reads this can give me pointers and I would be open to them.  Just post comments here on my blog.

Sportsmanship

Sportsmanship.  It is a word that we hear thrown around in the realm of professional sports and it trickles all the way down to PeeWee sports.  Does anyone really understand what sportsmanship is?  In tournaments, a sportsmanship trophy/plaque is usually awarded to a player from the team who lost the championship game because they lost without losing their cool or handled losing with class, but is that really what sportsmanship is about?  On Monday, April 30, 2012, my wife and friends of ours got to witness something that was so wonderful, I will argue that it is what sportsmanship should be.

A girls softball game was being played in a little town called Titusville on Monday.  The game was being played on Monday because an accident in the parking lot on Friday caused the game to be postponed.  You see, on Friday, a 22 month-old boy was tragically killed when he was ran over by a vehicle that was trying to leave.  Neither of the families involved were from Titusville, they both had players on the visiting team.  Because of the accident, the game was postponed and the location moved.  While the families are still trying to cope and deal with the loss, the game was played on Monday.  I want you to get a glimpse of what Titusville did to show true sportsmanship.

The above picture shows a sign that greeted the guest who came back out for the game on Monday.  The sign expressed the outpouring of love and kindness to the friends and families who were involved in the tragic incident from Friday.  There were all kinds of signatures and verses and words of encouragement that were left for the team and the families.  What a kind gesture this was!  Titusville also did not charge anyone to get into the event, they were however, accepting donations that were to be given to the family in the name of their lost son.  Someone from Titusville found out that the family was asking people to wear blue and green in honor of their son and they had many of their players wearing blue and green ribbons in their hair even though they were not their school colors (red and white).  What a wonderful way to show that you are sharing in their grief to offer a gesture of support.  That night, after the game was done and Titusville had lost, BOTH teams gathered together in the outfield and prayed.  Now I argue that this is true sportsmanship!

I don't think sportsmanship is about losing gracefully or just about playing within the rules, I think it goes much deeper than that.  I think it goes to the core of our being.  I think it is a heart thing.  I think true sportsmanship can only happen when one sees others as being so much more important than themselves that they don't let the issues of the game affect their reactions (whether winning or losing).  I liken it to being a servant.  If you are not humble enough to serve others because you are seeing them as God sees them, then you can never truly demonstrate sportsmanship.  Sure, guys and girls alike put on a show for the public eye about it is just a game, but do they really believe that?  Should it take an injury on the playing field to get your attention and make you realize that it is just a game?  Should it take a lot of losing for you to finally come to grips with losing?  God did not ask us to love others or treat them better than we would treat ourselves only when the going is good, he commanded it, period!

I for one am glad that the administration and team from Titusville demonstrated that the human beings that were involved were more important than the game itself.  I'm glad they did not miss out on the opportunity to teach this very valuable lesson to those kids.  Sure, it's easy to offer condolences, but could you actually think of those people as better than yourself?  How would I have handled this situation?  I hope with as much class as the Titusville Terriers!

You don't have to agree with me on this, but at least consider this.  If we as parents teach our children that the games we play are not always about winning, are not always about being the best at something, but it is about learning how to deal with people, human beings, both in good times and in bad.  It is about not losing your testimony when things don't go so well and not rubbing it in the face of another when things are going in your favor.  You see, we need good sportsmanship when we are winning as much as when we are losing, if not more.  Sportsmanship doesn't just happen on the field, it needs to happen in the stands where the adults are sometimes the worst at being poor sports during an athletic competition.  We could all learn something from how Titusville handled themselves and I think they deserve to be recognized for how lovingly they reached out to their fellow man and said "YOU MATTER!"

What about you?  Will you allow people to matter or will you only worry about yourself and whether things are going your way or not?  I think if you think of J-esus, O-thers and then Y-ou, then not only will you have JOY in your heart, but you will have plenty of sportsmanship!

God is God...We're Not!

Wow, this past week has sure been a trying one.  We here in Central Florida have had our lives touched by several tragedies, two intentional and one accidental.  While I know that tragedies are happening all around the country and the world, when they hit close to home it really makes you step back and think.  God is giving us the opportunity to minister and I pray that I will not miss out on these opportunities.

Late Sunday evening, a former student of our was shot and killed by another young man.  While the details have not been fully released nor do they matter, a neighboring community has lost a human being.  While this young man was flawed and in need of a Savior, the events of that evening abruptly ended his life and therefore ended any possibility of him finding Christ (I don't know his spiritual condition).  We now have family members and friends in our school and in the community who are grieving the loss of this young man.  Please pray with me that God will give Tara and me a boldness to seize each opportunity that God brings our way.  We also have a group of strong Christian teens that will have opportunities to minister.  Pray that they will be able to be a strong godly witness during this time.

Another unrelated incident happened a couple days later when two Polk State College students were shot and killed by a co-worker and another was seriously injured.  Again, the details are unimportant, but the pain that the families and friends are going through  are very real and important to God.  We have students in our own church who knew and were friends with these young men as well as students in our school.  This is another opportunity for us to be a witness and a comfort.

In both of these cases, it becomes easy to judge and forget that there are people who need comfort, the comfort that only God can give.  May I remember that God is God and I am not (Thanks Pastor Wingate) and be a channel for God's love, grace and mercy.  May I have a compassion that is beyond me and may I be a light in our school and community.

The third and most recent tragedy was an accident that happened at a Girls Softball playoff game on Friday evening.  A 22 month old boy was hit and killed by an automobile.  Both families involved had players on the team and, as you can imagine, the grief, the anguish, the questioning and the pain are great.  While I can't even begin to imagine what either of these families must be going through, I know God does.  After all, he watched his Son die and he can relate to these families.  It was a beautiful scene in church today as the teammates and their families were all present in our church service to offer support to the families during this difficult time.  They were also present to hear and see God work.  It was amazing!  I could feel the spirit moving and to see the body of Christ reach out and wrap their arms around these kids and adults was a beautiful site.  Again, this is a reminder that God is God and we're not.  As we try to minister to these families, I ask that you would pray that God comfort both the family who lost the child and the family of there person who accidentally hit the child.  Both need God's comfort and our support.

At this time, I am begging you, my friends to pray fervently for our little community as we try to be the hands and feet of Christ and offer the support that these many families need.  While we don't fully understand why these things have happened, we know that we can trust the hands of God!  We don't always see where we are headed, but we can trust the plans of God.  Thank you for joining us in prayer and I trust that we can be the Body of Christ!

More pics...

And Another Year Begins

So, in two days we head back to work and have a week of preparation before the students arrive. We are kind of excited this year because the summer has been hectic and even a little stressful. The routine of school will be a welcome change. The end of the previous year was exciting for Don because he got to see some of the students he had in his first year of teaching cross the stage to receive their diploma. It was also exciting because we got to see our first foreign exchange student, Claudia, receive an American diploma. She still has to finish school back in Italy, but it was a great experience to have her with us for most of the year. Since we had such a good experience, we decided to take on another foreign exchange student this year. Alba, from Spain, will be arriving this evening and we are looking forward to it, but are a tad bit nervous. We have talked with both Alba and her mom several times using Skype and have begun the process of getting to know each other.

This summer, while hectic, has been spent pretty much in Florida. We started out the summer just hanging around town and catching up with some decluttering in the house. We also visited Busch Gardens and Aquatica a couple of times to just enjoy some of the perks of living in Florida. We began talks with the Brobstons, good friends of ours, about coming for a visit when we flew up to IL for a wedding (Congratulations Jerrod & Alyssa Leonard) and I was beginning to wonder if things would work out because of some issues at his workplace. Things worked out last minute and we found out Thursday morning that they would be arriving late Friday night so preparations began to make room for them in the house. We were able to make room and the visit was awesome. Jesse even installed ceiling fans in our large living room (it took two since it is so large) to help keep the air moving and provide some much needed light to the space.

Tara spent three weeks in Sarasota to visit with her nieces and nephew while keeping them occupied so that their mom and dad could continue to work. This is where some of the stress came in however and some family issues were encountered and yet remain unresolved. If you are part of a family, you know how these things go. Please pray for healing in these relationships and that they will be restored to better than before. There are some family members that need salvation, so that is a top priority in our book. While Tara was in Sarasota, Don was able to visit his family in northern WI for about 10 days. He was able to relax in the cool weather and even got to visit a full-pads practice for the best team to ever play professional football, the Green Bay Packers. While some stars were not present, it was a wonderful experience. It is quite neat to see the players come out and choose bicycles to ride from the locker room to the practice field. Imagine the experience for these kids as they walk along side these bigger-than-life "heros" and get to talk with them as they head to the field. I wish my kids could experience that sometime in their lives.

Devon, the little brute that he is, had two trips this summer to the doctor to get stitches. Both times he hit his head on immovable object because he was running in the house and tripped. Not sure if he has learned his lesson yet, but his brothers haven't seemed to learn from his mistakes. We still have to tell them to stop running in the house and to stop the horseplay. What is the saying? "Boys will be boys!"

So, now we are back home, welcoming a new daughter into our house and preparing ourselves for the abrupt changes back to the schedule that work requires. The boys are not real excited. They understand that it means earlier bedtimes, homework and early mornings. Our children take after their mother in that mornings do not agree with them. Hopefully our "slug" from last year will get his act together and not make us force him to get ready in the mornings. Oh yeah, the boys did get a nice surprise in that we found a cute dog that was free (and small) for them to enjoy. They have been begging for at least two years to get a dog and daddy finally gave in when God provided a little, free bundle for them. Maybe that will make them more eager to get up for school. Well, we will sign off for now, but will update once we see how the start of school is going. We hope that you are in good health and spirits.

Let Summer Begin

Another school year has come and gone and now we wonder what to do. It is amazing how fast a school year goes once it gets started, unfortunately, the summer flies by even quicker. The summer gives us the opportunity to rest, spend extra time with the boys and to decompress from the stresses of every day work life. While we love our jobs, the stresses can sometimes get you down. The students can be dysfunctional, the district can be demanding and the co-workers can be annoying (sometimes), but when the day is done, we put it behind us and gear up for the next day. Luckily, summer is a break from that routine.

On Tuesday, June 7th, we had to see our foreign exchange student for the last time for a while. What a rewarding experience it was to have her here with us for the year even though it was hard to say "see you later!" Our boys loved her and so did we, but we know that we can still keep in communication with her and will see her again down the road. We got to see her walk for graduation and so did her mom who flew in on the Friday before the ceremony. It was a shock to us though as we were notified of a change of plans! We were expecting to have Claudia with us until June 11th, but since her mom had flown in for the graduation, it was more practical for them to fly back to Italy together. We will always cherish the time we had with her and hope that she will be able to say the same.

Our boys finished up their school years by scoring at the top of their respective classes on their standardized testing. It is great that they all have a desire to learn and seem to be doing very well in the classroom. We hope they continue to desire more knowledge, but more than that, we pray that they will desire to follow Christ in their lives. Parker continues to amaze us with his musical talent and the other two keep us on our toes with their orneryness and comedy. We love having three distinctly different personalities, but sometimes it makes for a lot of squabbles. Well, we are hoping for a fun and relaxing summer and hope that all our friends can have the same.

Keep it real!
The Wideners